I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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