eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
