Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Randomize
