Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm sobbing to NWA
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
