Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
