i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
