I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
