I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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