So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
