I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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