I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
