I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
