You smell like a Billy Joel song
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
