I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
