i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
