one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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