Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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