I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
