chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
