his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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