I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize