No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
