Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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