Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
