But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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