ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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