shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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