It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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