It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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