it wasn't lemon gatorade
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
