I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
