I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
