Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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