I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think my vagina is haunted
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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