So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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