Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
