the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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