I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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