Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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