walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
