Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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