what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
