would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
