I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
