She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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