matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
