I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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