It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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