When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
