I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
