We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
