Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize