You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
