addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do vagina's smell?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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