Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
