SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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