I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
