you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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