We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
