she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just want to make out with him forever
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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