Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize